My Tips for a Successful Marriage
Be B-E-S-T F-R-I-E-N-D-S.
Marry your best friend and work to stay best friends. Best friends have lots in common and like to do many similar things. Yes, you can have separate hobbies, but make sure there's a common ground of many shared hobbies, likes, dislikes and experiences. Don't be like ships passing the night.
You must have shared goals and dreams.
Life is so much easier if you're going in the same direction. Have you ever made a "Life's Plan" together? It's like mapping out a road trip, except the hotel turns out to be your house and there's no room service. We did this when we were engaged in 1980 and have just about accomplished every goal from a list of about 25 to 30 life goals.
Never go to bed mad at each other.
It's a cliche, but it's true. Harboring resentments against your spouse is like cutting off your own nose to spite your face.
Say "I love you" everyday.
Try to find something positive about your spouse, instead of harping on bad traits. Say "I love you" everyday. What's the first thing people say when they lose a loved one? "I wish I could have told him that I loved him one last time."
Communication:
Work really hard at understanding each other. Men are not as good as women at verbalizing what is going on with themselves emotionally. Women need to work a little harder at deciphering what men really mean when they're upset. For instance, if you're husband is flipping out because he can't find the remote control and it seems excessive, it usually means there is something else going on, like a problem at work and then you have to pry out of them what the REAL problem is. But other times, they are just flipping out because they can't find the remote. ;)
Two halves do not become a "whole".
Regular mathematics do NOT apply in marriage. Two halves do not become a "whole". Two wholes become a whole. It only works when 100% of you gives 100% to him/her. If you're giving 50%, you're only giving half of yourself. It's like that 'new math 'you don't understand... That, and 1 + 1 = 5.
Give each other space to each do your own thing. Really!
Jealousy has no place in a marriage. It was fun while you're a teenager, but it's time to grow up!
Trust, Trust, Trust! Figure out if you trust the other person before you tie the knot. This is VERY IMPORTANT!!! Adult People DO NOT CHANGE. If you find your partner lies, steals, cheats and hides information before marriage, you can bet your last dime they'll do it after marriage, too. If your new spouse is someone who cheated with you on a previous girlfriend or ex-wife, guess what? You're next.
